I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
