Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
