omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I am available for nakedness
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
