Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
