2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
