well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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