Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
