Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize