im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
