The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
