i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
