...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
