Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
nutella sex= disaster
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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