Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We are two peas in an std pod
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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