I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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