I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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