I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
