He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
