I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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