Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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