maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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