Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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