You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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