Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
When did angry sex become our thing?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
