I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
