dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
