Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
