In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
