I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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