How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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