He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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