I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
