; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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