cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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