she woke up with a sticky ear
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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