dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
