your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
is wine microwaveable?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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