She's like a pop up book from hell.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
