I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
