bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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