Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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