Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
