I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
