The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
