I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
