Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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