Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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