Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
