What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
