I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
