it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
