How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
