you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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